Not Alone
by Hope'sFangirl
Summary: Lightning has taken up drinking to fill the void after Serah's wedding, feeling alone and abandoned. Luckily, someone is always there to watch over her.


**Well, this is a tad embarressing lol. So, it has been a while since I've posted anything at all, but I've not been in the best writing place, plus I've been without a computer for a month or so, but I'm set up again with a nice new comp and I've been hit by the writing bug, so, without further ado, (and some ignoring responsibilities), I'm trying out a new story, LightxHope again :), and I hope you enjoy it.**

The sound was soft, barely audible at all. The almost silent clink of glass on glass, and the quiet drip of alcohol being poured into a shot glass. It seemed like the soundtrack of her life anymore. She gave a bitter chuckle at the thought.

Serah's wedding had been a month ago now, and how beautiful a ceremony it was. The ornate decorations, the pressed, sleek look of the groomsmen, the gorgeous wedding gown her sister wore. All perfect down to the last detail. Lightning would know, she had helped plan it all out. As if that softened the sting.

And now here she was, after all the hard work, after all the sleepless nights, and the endless days. Yet after all that effort, Lightning had ended up right where she hadn't wanted. Alone, in a house too big for one person, in a job suited for isolation, and with no one close by to count on.

'How ironic.' Had she ever been fool enough to think it would end up otherwise? After all that time pushing people away, did she think someone would stick around to care about the heartless soldier? What was the point of turning a new leaf now, when all that mattered had left her?

But that was over, her choices made. She had chased off anyone who had once mattered to her. Serah was her everything. The sister she had to protect, the daughter she had to provide for, the future she had sacrificed so that she could have that chance. And what could she show for it? Naught but an empty room, and a silly diploma framed on the wall. Lightning remembered how proud she had been on the day Serah had brought it home. They had a celebration with all her school friends, a big reward for the graduate.

Now, it seemed little more than a mockery of her life. The diploma she never had a chance at, having dropped out to support the two of them. More unbidden memories came back. She was struggling to help Serah with homework neither of them understood. That frustration at not having the answers. The click of glass was louder this time, and the bottle was set not so gently on the table. The burn of the shot was barely noticed as she gulped it down, too gone to care at this point.

Hope watched silently from the doorway. He knew Lightning hadn't noticed him enter, she rarely did at this point, despite her hightened senses. She had been at this nightly ritual ever since Serah's wedding. She tried to play it off, going to work, putting up her tough front, going about her everyday business. It wasn't until nightfall, when she thought she was alone that she let her demons out.

Of course, that was how Lightning operated. Never willing to show that chip in her implacable front, never showing any sign of weakness when others were around. The teen slid down the doorframe, taking his own nightly post. Just as with last night, and the night before that, and before that, Lightning would down a couple more shots, and pass out on the couch. He would go to her then, when she couldn't object, or hide from him.

Oh so gently, he would slide the blanket over her vulnerable form, and sit by her side. She would wimper sometimes, and he would stroke her hair, as if to assure her she wasn't alone as she thought. Finally, once he was sure she had drifted off into a peaceful slumber, he would lie down next to her and let the peaceful ebb of darkness take him as well.

Lightning would wake early the next morning, to find the boy curled up in her arms. Whether he had crawled in or she had pulled him close in her sleep she never knew, only that each morning he was there, reminding her she wasn't alone.

Her drunken daze would fade away, and she would spend her waking moments staring at his angelic face, telling herself today was the day she would pull her self up, and stop dragging the poor boy down. She would kiss his soft lips, and wishper good morning to him. He would stir as he always did, but not wake, and she knew it was because he had spent another night's vigil watching over her.

'How did I get so lucky? How did I ever find you?' A soft smile would reach her lips. For a while, she would forget about Serah, about her guilt for causing Hope this grief. All that mattered was the sleeping form in front of her. She would reach up to stoke his cheek, and his eyelids fluttered open.

"L-Light?"

"Shhh, go back to sleep Hope, it's alright now, I promise." She told the lie to him every morning, it came out without a second thought anymore. It would not be alright, and by the evening she would be back to her self-destructive behavior, but for the moment, they could have peace. For the moment, she could give _him_ comfort. And so the boy would fall back asleep in her arms, warm and content for the time being.

The unfairness of it hit her in that moment. The injustice done to her, but more so to this young boy. To this beautiful soul, that could rise to such heights, if only for one selfless act on her part. But she couldn't do it. For all her independence, for all the acting tough, she couldn't let go of him. He was her last thread, and both of them knew it.

"I'm so sorry Hope... It's not fair, what I'm doing to you. It isn't fair to put you in this position." She whispered with tears in her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will the tears away. A warm hand cupped her cheek then, and she let her eyes open again, meeting the soft green stare directed back at her.

" Don't be sorry Light. I want to be here, I want to be with you... I love you." He was only fourteen, but those words carried such weight with them. She could feel the pasison he poured into those words, and despite herself, it made her feel so good. So their symbiotic realtionship would go on. The truth hidden from all but themselves. Both broken, but both willing and wanting to try.

It was no fairytale, neither doubted that. But what in life ever was? Lightning didn't care either way. All that mattered was this moment, and this loving boy. The world could melt away for all she cared, so long as she could just lie on this couch with him forever.

"Hope?"

"Yeah Light?"

"I love you too."

**So I jumped from like, past tense, to future perfect (or w/e, who cares about grammar right?) to present there. I didn't want to be too directly involved with the characters thought process in this one, but I think it just came out sloppy instead of the kind of third person, hazy, ambiguouse feel I wanted, but it's what came to mind right now. Anyhoo, I hope it was worth a little read, and some warmth amidst bad circumstances.**

** P.S. I know I haven't kept up on replies and what not, but I would like to take a second to thank all of you who reviewed and/or favorited my first story, I really wasn't expecting that kind of support, so thank you so very much! So here is to the future and, hopefully, more stories that you can enjoy reading. Good night! :)**


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